Talking to women can be paralyzing for many men, there is a lot of pressure to pickup women. You feel like you have to lead with some sort of benefit they might get if they were to date you (and most guys think it has something to do with money).
Others start off with flattering words to the woman, but depending on how it’s said, it can possibly come off as creepy or just a tired routine that she’s heard a million times before.
Women are usually on guard when it comes to men approaching them as strangers. Even if you’re the nicest guy in the world, chances are she’s been hit on by a lot of creeps in her lifetime, so you have to prove yourself right out of the gate.
First, understand that not every woman is available (even if she’s not wearing a wedding ring). If she’s not making herself open to being approached, then don’t try to strike up conversation.
Signs that she’s unavailable might be that she’s busy talking to her friends, she’s preoccupied with something else, or she’s not making eye contact with you (even after seeing you try to make eye contact with her).
Start a conversation about something that doesn’t have to do with her pretty eyes or your sports car. If you’re at a bar, sure you can offer to buy her a drink, but it’s much better if you start talking about something going on in the club. That way you have a commonality going on.
Say something like, “Is it always this loud in here?”. Say it with a smile so that she knows you’re being friendly and not grumpy. When you talk about something other than yourselves, it doesn’t seem aggressive or obvious. Look for people you can talk about who neither of you know, and share a little harmless joke about them. But don’t make fun of them, that could just backfire on you.
Look for clues she offers in the conversation that you can show you’re a good listener. Women love it when a man is paying attention to what she says. So if she says, “Oh I just moved here,” you have two options.
One is self centered. You can say, “Oh it’s a great place! I used to…” The other way is better. Start asking about her. Say, “Oh, really? Where are you from?” Then start talking about her background and showing interest in her.
How you talk to her is as important as what you say. Make sure she has your full attention whenever you start talking to her. That means make eye contact and don’t be looking all around you. Put the cell phone away, too – or you might risk having her carry on the conversation with someone who has time for her.
Now get on out there and do your best to pickup women just by talking with them (and not to them).