Sexuality in Today’s World

Sexuality of swinger couple kissing

We live in a schizophrenic society. Turn on the television and what do you see? Sex! Open a magazine (especially one like Tryst which we used to publish!) and what do you see? Sex! Newspaper? Sex (and politics, but they go together like bread and butter)! Billboard? Sex! Internet? Unbelievable amounts of sex! So why are we so uptight about sex and everything that relates to sex?

Sex is such a taboo subject in our society, even as we are surrounded by the sight, sounds and smells of sex. It’s gotten so bad I got a hard-on every time I watched the old Herbal Essence shampoo commercials. Give me a break! No woman has ever made long moaning orgasmic sounds just by washing her hair (by the way, my favorite commercial is when there are three or four guys gang-washing the ladies hair. Hot!). And yet, as an example of our sexual duplicity, local governments constantly fight to keep “adult” stores out of our communities. For what? To protect us from our own rampant desires?

If you grew up Catholic like me (I did 12 years in the Catholic school system) you’ve also been fed the party line that sex is simply for procreation between two married people. What is not said, but implied, is that sex is not fun, it’s serious business and should be treated in a no nonsense way. And if you are enjoying sex, especially if you’re not married, you’re in the wrong and probably going to hell to boot. Whoa! That’s a gigantic mindfuck for a young adult.

From a young age we are indoctrinated with this idea that sex is “naughty” (and not in the good way) and should not be openly discussed. And, of course, that attitude spills over into how we feel about ourselves and how we relate to our partners sexually. It’s no wonder people have so many sexual hang-ups.

What does all this leave you with? A warped sense of your own sexuality and, for a lot of people, an idea that sex is somehow shameful and should only be done with the lights out and covers pulled up.

Well, no more. It’s time for a wake up call. As swingers, sex is most definitely a part of our lives. For some of us it is a huge part. And even though we are in the “liberated” minority we still carry with us those ideas that were planted so long ago and still reinforced on a daily basis.

How many of us can honestly say we are completely comfortable in our sexuality? Before you immediately reply with a forceful Yes!, let me ask you a few questions. Are you comfortable being completely naked in front of others? Are you comfortable expressing yourself during sex? Are you completely comfortable with the size of your penis/breasts/ass/thighs etc.? Could you have a conversation about masturbation without being embarrassed?

If you stumbled over any of these questions you may not be as comfortable as you thought.

As an active swinger and sex writer I never pass up an opportunity to observe people and how they interact sexually. And let me tell you, even swingers have issues. Although I will say that swingers, as a whole, are far more comfortable with themselves and their bodies than the ‘vanilla’ population.

I have a challenge for every person reading this article. I challenge you to get more involved in your own sexuality (guys, that doesn’t mean simply getting laid more often). Read a book about sex, have an open discussion with your partner about something you’ve never spoken about before or try something you’ve never done before. All in the name of personal growth, of course (Honey, Major Mojo says we should try anal sex tonight).

Let’s take it upon ourselves to not let society put its negative spin on our sex lives. We have so little time on this planet; there is simply no point in being ashamed of our sexuality. Now get out there and have some fun!

Until next time – Happy Swinging!

~Major Mojo
(Virginia Beach, VA)

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Comments

    • asd
    • November 18, 2011
    Reply

    Great article!
    Your right!

    Another way to look at it is…
    if a corporation wants to make a profit off someone’s natural needs, then its allowed and in your face

    but if one lonely male person is interested in finding a adult mutually consenting female partner, then this is very difficult!
    should be the other way around

    thank you for printing this article

    • Asa S
    • March 6, 2013
    Reply

    hi

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