What Fetishes May Reveal About Your Childhood

Two Topless Fetish Women in a Box

Surprise, regular ordinary steamy-hot sex just doesn’t cut it for everyone (I sure like it though). Some need to fulfill a fetish which adds a much needed spark to get them off. Where exactly do fetishes come from, no one is really sure, but we are going to ask for some help from Freud to try to determine what all that freaky stuff says about your past, and how you can feed your fetish, without breaking your piggy bank.

5) Feet: A foot fetish is very common. If you get excited by feet it means you probably weren’t picked up much when you were a baby, thus leaving your cute little face looking at people’s piggies all day. Plus your Mom may have made you give her foot rubs, or maybe even a manicure, during your young impressionable days. You can embrace¬†your fetish for feet (while most people think of them as quite an ugly body part) by getting a part-time job at a shoe store.

4) Smoking: If you get excited picturing someone sucking on a cig, then it is pretty easy to figure out the source of this fetish. Remember way back when you were just little… your great aunt Judy gave you a bath and out of the corner of her mouth stuck a Virginia Slim. This also goes to explain your fondness for that husky, scratchy smoker’s voice. Sexy. To scratch this itch, instead of porn watch episodes of Mad Men, and look for that someone special at your local Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, many ex-drinkers do smoke.

3) Balloons: They’re big, colorful, light as air, and sometimes annoying, but balloons somehow drive you wild. Maybe it’s the squeaky sound they make when rubbed (like hundreds of women moaning at your touch). Speaking of touched, do you remember some of the birthday parties you attended as a child? So, how do you feel about clowns? Clown suits? Just curious. For satisfaction, offer to stay after every get together to clean up (a.k.a. watch others fondle and pop your favorite sort of latex). If you think ahead and bring a bag of balloons to every party, everyone will mistake your perverseness for kindness.

2) Giant Women: Your dream woman is an Amazon. The bigger, and taller the better. Remember that part in Alice in Wonderland, where she grows so much she practically wears the house she makes you hot, doesn’t it? You were probably just little when your sexual fixation began, there you were looking up at the big, sexy world. The Only part is that you might not be able to live out your wildest Amazon fantasies, because the tallest woman in Guinness was only 7’7″, which is way below what you are looking for, and even worse she recently passed away. Sorry.

1) Adult Diapers, Large Cribs, Etc.: If “Adult Babies” is in your search history you fit this fetish category. Sorry, but we believe that if you’re into this sort of thing, there probably wasn’t much to your childhood. In fact, you were probably born as a little man wearing a suit and have a lack of imagination. This fetish formed from the desire to relive your lost years where you could shit your own pants and babble like a drunk. Which is great if you’re into donning a diaper and bonnet, and sitting in an oversize crib, but the problem is there is no cut rate way to embrace this particular fetish. So Good luck.

~Ted (and Sandi too)

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