Why is Sex Buddy withholding Sex?
Dear Frank,
What advice do you have for a guy that wants his sex-buddy back, but only as a sex-buddy? I have been seeing a girl for almost a year. We are sex-buddies. We only get together when neither of us is seeing anyone else seriously. Lately though when we get together, she has started to deny me sex! We hang out, do all the usually stuff including heavy make out sessions, but when it comes to sex she has started to hold off. This does not make sense to me, as there is nothing her and I have not done in the past. She tells me that she does not want to be with me for “just sex” anymore, yet wants to still hang out with me. Is this just a phase that I can break her out of? If I tell her directly that I will never be in a serious relationship with her, will I lose her entirely?
Roger
Dear Roger,
The question is what do YOU see her as? Let’s assume for a second that you felt this coming for a while. If so, you must understand that your responsibility as a player is to manage these things BEFORE they become a bigger issue. If you didn’t see it coming, then let’s move on…
First of all, you cannot say with any ABSOLUTE certainty that there isn’t a chance you will end up in a serious relationship with her DOWN THE ROAD. You have no real idea what is going to happen in your life. You cannot begin to imagine the amount of ways you are going to change in the next 10-20 years. Be honest with her… that you don’t really know what the future holds for the both of you… NO ONE REALLY DOES… that is why you have to hope for the best and make excellent choices about how you spend your time now.
Secondly, address her emotional needs and make her feel special to you by pointing out what is UNIQUE about her to you.
Thirdly, Don’t argue logic with a women it does not work.
Fourth, never let her become your mother. The most attractive thing you can do is to find someone else to replace her as a sex-buddy.
~Frank, because I have to be
Writer for SandiOnSwinging.com, you can also visit him at www.franktalks.com where he talks more about having an open relationship including having a Threesome.