Before Becoming A Swinger
Each couple within the swinger lifestyle has a collection of rules, or as I like to call them guidelines, which they follow in order to not cause any problems.
These guidelines need to be be discussed with every prospective swing partner prior to going to the play room. You do not want to find out that the other couple has a rule against kissing other people right after you lay one on her/him (so to speak).
So, let’s discuss a few of the more common things for both of you to go through.
Possible Swinger Rules/Guidelines
Penetration: Are you both comfortable with having intercourse with other compatible couples (with condoms of course), or is this something you want to put aside for just the two of you? Potential swinger partners will need to know this ahead of time.
Kissing: A few couples feel that kissing is too intimate to be shared with someone else so they like to keep this to themselves (which is a shame because kissing is so much fun).
Oral: You may find that oral sex is something you are not comfortable performing on someone other than your own partner. And to stay in this vein the ladies must determine whether they’re willing to spit or swallow. From a guys viewpoint (okay Ted’s) this is something really good to know in relation to the other lady before things get going. That way he will know whether he can completely relax or if he must be prepared for a mess, either way guys please give the lady you are with a heads up as to when you are about to “blow” so she can be ready.
Separate Rooms (closed vs open): For instance, we only swing in the same room. Ted and I like to be together when we swing; we are doing this together and want to share in each others’ enjoyment. I have also heard the other opinion as well from a lady friend of mine, which is when she has sex with another person she wishes to have him concentrate on her, not just get part of his attention with his wife or girlfriend getting the rest. I can see her point, but I get pleasure watching Ted enjoy himself as well. So decide for yourself which type of swinger you are going to be.
Same Bed vs Separate Beds: This is another one where we prefer to be together, and on the same bed. Now occasionally this does not work out, for example when you have two exceedingly tiny beds in one room, and then we work around it. Some people would rather to be in the same room so they can enjoy their partner but on their own bed that way their fun is not disturbed by any flying body parts, or a bouncy bed.
How Often You Want To Swing: Are you looking to get together with a couple once a week or once a year or something in between? Additionally, should it be the same couple or two different couples, or is it better to be a different couple every time? It is all up to you.
Same Sex Play: A good number of swinger couples are okay with the females getting together, but as for the male halves they just don’t want to go there. That may be something you are just not okay with. Or perhaps that is all you are interested in. Perhaps the ladies just want to get together and let the guys observe or maybe play with their own partner. You decide.
Just Two Couples Together Or Go To Swinger Parties/Orgies: This one is tricky and may change back and forth for a while. Are you searching for just a one on one couple thing (okay that’s really four people), or are you into the more open party swinger atmosphere?
See what I mean, there are numerous things to think about, and you really do want to discuss these things with your partner in detail before meeting with another couple to save any embarrassing situations. Remember you don’t need to stick too much to your rules, plus expect your rules to change as you get more comfortable as a swinger and with yourself. This is the reason I prefer the term guidelines rather than rules. Figure out where you are at this point in time and examine them on a regular basis. Remember, there are no wrong or right guidelines, the ones which work for you are the right ones, at least for now. Are you ready to meet a Swinger or two?