This article is for all you single swingers (or wanna be swingers) out there. Swinging single can be a great experience, but there are some common guidelines that you should follow before you jump into the deep end (no pun intended).
Major Mojo’s Top 8 Tips for Single Swingers
Be Courteous! This should go without saying, but I’m going to say it anyway. My best advice is to treat each potential swing partner (or partners) like you are on a job interview. But I want you to treat this “pearl of wisdom” more like a lifelong philosophy than a tip to get you “in the door”. Everyone appreciates good manners. If you want to have fun and get invited back to play again, be courteous.
Be Perceptive. If someone is obviously not interested in your company, move on to greener pastures. This is especially true for single male swingers (of which I am one). Pushiness is not an attractive quality (regardless of whether you are male of female) and will only get you a bad reputation in the swinging community. Just because someone smiles in your general direction does not mean that they want to hump your brains out.
While at a swing club with a female partner I’ve encountered, much to my displeasure, the dreaded hanger on many times. If you’ve been to a swing club before you already know what I mean. Those single guys that latch onto a couple and follow them around like a lost puppy dog. If you’ve ever done this before, fess up. Guys, trust me when I tell you this: being a hanger on will NOT get you laid. Be cool about the situation. Hooking up with a couple is not a life or death competition. If a couple is not interested, just move on. Someone out there wants to play with you, go find them.
No Means No! Do I really need to explain this one? If you can’t follow this simple Golden Rule of swinging you shouldn’t be involved in the swinging lifestyle. I see this more frequently than I like at swing parties, usually after someone has had too much to drink. When someone tells you No, there should be no negotiating, cajoling or whining. Let it drop.
Be Proactive. In other words, get off your ass and do something! The opportunities for hooking up with people through the internet and swinger contact magazines (like Tryst) is mind-boggling! Every possible fetish and perverse orientation your horny little mind can imagine is out there just waiting for the likes of you. If you haven’t invested in a computer yet, let me put it this way for you: Buying a computer (and having an internet connection) will be the single best thing you’ve ever done for your sex life! Whether you are talking about answering an ad in Tryst or buying that laptop to surf for companionship, you’ve got to take that first step. Stop talking about it and do it.
A picture is worth a thousand words. If you are connecting through a swinger’s magazine or an online personal service, please include a photo. What you may consider a “bad’ picture of yourself will be infinitely better than no picture at all. I’ve spoken with many swingers about this and, almost unanimously, the response is “we are not looking for Ken and Barbie”. Give the readers an idea of what the person behind the ad looks like.
And guys, please don’t include a close-up of your johnson (unless your nickname is “horse”), a full body shot would be much better.
Wrap that rascal! There may have been a time when it was okay to have unprotected sex in a swinging environment, but that time has long since faded away into obscurity. If you want to play (or expect to play) bring condoms along. And never NEVER pressure anyone into having unprotected sex with you. It’s grossly irresponsible and ultimately will come back to bite you in the ass. Play safe or you won’t play at all.
Be respectful. Always have respect for the wishes and desires of those that you are playing with. In other words don’t try to convince a new lady friend she will love anal sex by “accidentally” slipping into her backdoor. Bad idea. Let your playmate(s) set the rules.
Get in shape. Even though I put this tip last I would rank this in the top three tips to work on. Being fit is very important and touches on all aspects of your life. From an aesthetic point of view, it never hurts to have a fit body. But, more importantly, there is a confidence that comes from being fit and working out on a regular basis. Regardless of what your body type is like, working out regularly can be a great boost to your self esteem. And what is one of the most often cited qualities women find attractive when checking out men? Confidence. So make it your resolution to start working out. You’ll love the benefits, I guarantee it.
I’ve been swinging as a single guy for the last year and a half (since I got divorced) and I’ve had amazing success. Being a single (especially a single guy) in the Lifestyle can seem like an uphill battle. But if you apply these tips I can guarantee you plenty of action down the road.
Being invited to play with a couple, group or single swinger is a privilege and should be treated as such. Whether you are new to the lifestyle or are a veteran swinger, following some common sense and courteous guidelines will keep you in the action and on everyone’s A list.
Until next time – Happy Swinging! Hope this helps all the Single Swingers out there.
(Virginia Beach, VA)