If you are an inexperienced swinger, it’s possible you are not be familiar with some of the various terminology that you could be exposed to, for instance Soft Swinging or Hard Swinging (often known as Full Swap). Let me help fill you in on what the difference is so you will not be caught off guard.
Most swingers start out here, and many stay with this type of swinging. You can find other definitions on the internet but the commonly accepted definition is that Soft swinging essentially means that anything goes excluding penetration with the other partner. Penetration is reserved for your own partner.
So what fun will you have without penetration?… Lots!
It is essentially an extensive foreplay session (Ted and I call it four-way Foreplay — not including the guys playing with each other) with plenty of kissing, caressing, and a ton of oral sex. Playing with Sex Toys can also be acceptable, as well as penetration with sex toys. The single thing will not occur is for one partner to penetrate the other partner.
Lots of people also name completely staying with your own partner Soft Swinging, but that is in reality a form of Couples Voyeurism, generally stated in Swingers Profiles as “we like to watch and be watched”.
One more inaccurate use of the term Soft Swinging is when it is referred to couples where the ladies play exclusively or with very limited amount of interaction. This is commonly referred to as “Ladies Only Play“.
We actually met a full swap couple who were unsure of what exactly they could do with a couple who simply soft swaps, so we had to show them. Now this particular couple was contemplating quitting the lifestyle as it just seemed to not be for them, that is until they discovered how much fun soft swinging could be. It was a tough job, but we just had to do it.
Hard Swinging or Full Swap
Just as the name suggests this form of swinging involves full swap or intercourse with the other partner. Some people never even get to this point for reasons of their own (including diseases or intimacy issues) but many benefit from full swap a lot.
I would not be me if I did not remind you right now that you should by no means have intercourse with someone else without a condom, but I am sure you are sensible enough to already know this. It is just not worth the gamble.
Both these varieties of swinging could be done in the same room (so that both couples are in each others’ company) but they could also be enjoyed in different rooms. Even when enjoying the experience of a threesome you must decide if you are going to soft swing or hard swing with that third person. Everyone MUST agree.
Moreover do yourself a favor and discuss this prior to things ending up in the bedroom (or whatever room you are going to get busy in). There are not many things which are more uncomfortable than finding out that the person you’re with (and trying to put a condom on him) is just not into having actual intercourse with you. This discussion is a lot easier to have in non sexual surroundings.
That’s it, now venture out and enjoy yourself; only be certain that both you and your partner are on the same wavelength prior to picking up some cute couple.
~ Play Safe, Ted & I always do… Sandi (from SandiOnSwinging.com)