(Note from Sandi: I can’t think of anything worse than a “Sexless Marriage”, so if you happen to be suffering in one, I hope this helps you change all of that. This article also has some points to help you if you are just starting out in the Swinging Lifestyle.)
What can you do to deal with a sexless marriage? First, is your marriage sexless because of the lack of passion or because of a terrible condition; either way you can still salvage your marriage and still happy. First of all, sex is not everything in a marriage. In fact, most religions believe that you should only engage in sex to conceive. Any other time, it’s considered a sin. Now today, we have wrapped sex with a string of love. Many people think that if you don’t have sex then there is no love. However, sex has nothing to do with love, passion, but not love. Sex is something that we engage in when we find ourselves attracted to another.
Remember how it felt when you were first married? You had such an explosion of passion that you just couldn’t help it, but want your mate. However, people change, things change, and so does a marriage. Just because you are in a slum, doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you. Right now, she may feel overwhelmed with the kids, work, and so on. It may have something to do with you too.
When it comes to you as the reason for the sexless marriage it might just be because you have not given her a reason to feel passion for you. You might not look at her like you use to. When it comes woman feeling attractive it’s all about how you make them feel. You need to look at her every now and then and actually see her. Surely it might just be your own depression or career that has blocked you have paying such attention.
However, if you bring home flowers or dinner and give her a hug and a kiss, you may just startle the passion that she has for you. She’ll feel appreciated and loved. Love is another thing. Do you talk to your wife about love? Do you tell her that you still love her? Be romantic! Tell her that you love her, let her know that you still feel the same. Go out of your way for her and she’ll go out of her way for you. Soon you’ll notice that the sex is back and you’ll both feel better about the marriage and the future of the relationship.
Then again, have you lost your passion for her? It’s hard to hold passion for someone over years of time. If you are just not attracted to her, you at least have to try to deal with the problem. Try the romance and ask her about how she feels. Ask her to do some of the things that you need her to do to make you feel the passion again. If you begin to see a third party about your marriage then you will be able to get to the deep feelings that you both hide.
You will be able to overcome both of your insecurities and build a stronger marriage. Just because you have a lack of sex or a dry spell doesn’t mean that you should give up on your marriage. If you can talk to your wife about these things and about your intimate relationship, then you should be able to over come the spell, however, sometimes it is not a choice that the couple makes, but the doctor.
There are a lot of couples who cannot have sex because it is too painful or it is a medical condition like cancer. Your wife won’t feel beautiful when she’s sick and sometimes they can’t bare the thought. When it comes to dealing with a marriage that is sexless by choice, you should try to think about why you married your wife. You didn’t marry her because of the sex; you most likely, married her because you had such a connection. You felt like you wanted to spend the rest of your life with this woman. Now that she’s sick, you have to be there by her side through it.
Sex should be the last thing on your mind and if you truly love her then it really won’t matter. In fact, even if you aren’t in this type of situation, you should not care about the sex. All that you can do is go to your wife and talk to her and tell her you love her more than ever. You may not be able to add sex to your marriage, but you will feel so better.
Some couples have a choice between having sex and not having sex, and then some couples don’t. Regardless, you need to show your support to your wife and talk about your feelings about the sexless marriage and about your marriage in general. Open up and you will end up finding that you will feel better about your marriage and yourself.