This is it; you are finally going to get together for sex with that couple you have been talking to and you want to make sure that the evening goes well. Given that chances are your sex life has never followed the same path as porn star sex (they never have issues like… leaning on hair, vaginal farts, accidentally elbowing your partner in the face, etc.), you can at least make the effort to have all the necessary equipment to make the evening one to really remember.
To begin, if they are coming to your place, make sure that your place is clean, and please don’t just throw everything you own into a closet. Get rid of dust and grime, and make sure the bathroom doesn’t have any creepy crawlies, dust bunnies, moldy socks, or other disgusting things.
As well, make sure that the room you’re going to be spending most of your time in is not just clean, but smells fresh as well. Chances are it’s going to be the bedroom (you naughty people), so here are a few items you should keep near the bed so that you don’t constantly have to get up during your first time together (or your first time swinging).
1 – Candles
One big, fat candle with a few wicks in it, works best, but smaller ones placed around the rooms would work as well. Just make sure when clothes are being thrown off, nothing lands on one and sets the house on fire (can you say mood breaker). As you know, there are many women who prefer having the lights off when getting frisky, so candlelight allows a soft light to see better as well as set the mood. Also don’t forget the lighter, nothing worse than running around looking for a lighter just when things are starting to heat up.
2 – Mints or Breath Spray
If you’ve just enjoyed a dinner that was chock-full of garlic, red wine and capped off the five courses with espresso, then your breath (and everyone else’s) likely smells like the jungle. Mints have the added benefit of not just making your breath kissable; they’ll add a little something, something to the oral foreplay. My suggestion is Altoids (they have a wonderful cooling effect when you blow on body parts).
3 – Extra Pillows
Although you likely sleep on pillows, it’s a good idea to keep a few extra pillows close by for any unusual positions that you may want to try. It can be used to elevate her body and place her in a more than welcoming position… one that will have you drooling from both heads.
4 – Water
Nothing beats having some old H2O by the bedside since dehydration tends to set in amid any exhausting activity. You also may want to cleanse your palate before moving on to each new body part.
5 – Sex Music
Fumbling around by the stereo for 10 minutes while trying to find what kind of music to play doesn’t exactly enhance the sexual mood; have the music set in the radio (create your own “sex” playlist) and just press play.
6 – Massage oil
Seducing women for sex, by rubbing everything from her thighs to her back is a wonderful idea (just ask her). However, do be careful as some massage oils are not meant to be ingested. Don’t apply it to areas that you plan on licking later.
7 – Scarves, ties, blindfolds
Whether you buy the real thing or have substitutes handy, using something to cover one (or more) persons’ eyes or bind hands with will greatly increase sensual experience and inhibitions. When you take away one sense (like sight), the others compensate by becoming more sensitive (like touch). Great way for everyone to pick on one person to get things started.
8 – Lubrication
Sometimes, you may have a hard time getting things off the ground, so some extra moisture will serve to ensure that it’s safe to go on inside. I recommend the water-based variety as it corresponds well with most condoms.
9 – Condoms
If you don’t already have a six-pack (or 12 pack), now’s the time to invest in your rubber friends (especially if full swap is in the plans for the evening). Keep a pack of condoms in a nightstand because she may be in an all night long mood. It can also be more enjoyable to use condoms with your own partner in a swinging situation as it contains “the mess”, especially if you are not at your house.
10 – Tissues
Tissues make it easier to be neat about the whole “disposing of the condom” issue, a box of tissues will never steer you wrong.
11 – Baby wipes
Baby wipes are wonderful for wiping off any excess lube, or cleaning up in case she ejaculated all over the place (you know how some women can be :-), baby wipes have the right amount of moisture to eliminate that sticky mess.
12 – A Snack
Just in case you are in for an all nighter, purchase some chocolate covered almonds or something similar and tuck them in your night stand. That way they are easy to pull out during intermission or once the sex seems to be done. A little snack may just rev all of you all up for another round. It saves running to the kitchen to grab some nourishment.
13 – Hair elastic
A hair band specially made to pull hair back will come in very handy if anyone in your group has long hair. That way, if blowjobs are on the agenda, her hair will not get in the way. If a hair band is not handy, be a gentleman and hold her hair back for her ~ but please don’t push her head up and down with your hand.
Now you have it, and are all ready for your sex visitors!
Of course, you could always purchase a mini-fridge and store cool drinks and fresh fruit in it, while at the same time using it as a nightstand, but chances are that the couple you are with will think you are either very lazy or very experienced.
It’s okay if you don’t have absolutely everything on this list ready; you are human, after all. But being prepared is a great way to feel at ease in any sexual situation. So get those items and set up the master bedroom or playroom so you can concentrate on the great sex which is about to happen.