Should Threesome Start With A Friend Or At A Swing Club?
Dear Frank,
My wife and I have been married for 15 years, and we have three great kids. Our sex life got, “ho-hum” if you know what I mean. We decided to spice things up a bit. We started with watching porno, playing with sex toys, and sharing our fantasies.
It turned out that my fantasy is to have a threesome with another woman, and her fantasy is to be with another woman. She actually considers herself bisexual (even though she has never been with a woman before) and wasn’t sure she could tell me until now. She has a friend she works with that she likes and she thinks may want to join us. I don’t really find her friend that attractive. I would like to go to a swingers club, but she feels uncomfortable with that. Any advice?
Rob
Dear Rob
First of all, good for you and your wife for communicating. It is a good place to start. I would suggest that you and your wife do NOT have sex with someone she works with. Since she has not been with a woman yet, her first experience should not be with a friend, or a co-worker. There is no way either of you can anticipate how you both are going to react once you get there. Fantasy is one thing, and Reality can be very different.
I would suggest that you both try to find someone that you both like, and take your time in meeting that third person. If you are interested in swinging, do some reading on it. Good books on swinging are The Lifestyle by Terry Gould, and Swinging A Societal Phenomena by Jean Hamel.
Most swingers clubs have an information session night. Check out your local clubs just for the information session. You have no obligation to join it. The first thing you two need to figure out before you introduce that third person into your mix, is what will be the limits and boundaries of your first encounters with a third partner, including what each of you can and can not do. You need to figure out if you would be interested in letting your wife explore her sexuality without you first, and then seek out a threesome. When in doubt, move slowly. Good luck.
~Frank, because I have to be
Writer for SandiOnSwinging.com, you can also visit him at www.franktalks.com