So you connected online with someone who peaks your interest. What do you do when you meet? Well… what do you normally do when you meet another couple for dinner and/or drinks?
When it comes time for the meeting, most people get a serious case of stage fright. In our minds we have expectations of ourselves and various doubts. We begin to fear that we may be rejected because our hips are too big, breasts are too small, or certain organs aren’t big enough.
To the beginner we offer this: the experienced swinger usually feels the same way as you do. Don’t go to a meeting and try to impress the other couple with your job or status. That’s not what this is about. Go to the meeting, relax, and be yourself. The purpose here is to get to know the other couple. Share life experiences, stories, jokes, and ideas… just like you would do in non-swinging situations.
Expect to meet people who’s values aren’t the same as yours, but respect their opinions and keep it friendly. If you don’t hit it off, that’s OK. You’re not going to be compatible with everyone you meet. Call an end to the evening and say good night. Most often, both parties can tell when they’re not compatible. Don’t be afraid to say, “Thank you, but I don’t think it will work”, but make sure you know that your partner feels the same.
At some point you’ll find a couple or person, with which you’ll hit it off. If you’re lucky, this will happen on your first attempt. Now what do you do? Experienced swinging couples have (or should have) prearranged signals between each other. One set means “I’m not interested in this couple”; another set means “I’m interested in this couple”; and the third is “I need to talk to you”. At the very least, you should prearrange the third signal.
Most importantly of all; talk with your partner and see how they feel about the other couple! Compare notes. If either of you feel uncomfortable about being intimate with this couple, it probably won’t work well.