So you and your partner have talked it over and decided to take the plunge and enjoy your first swinging experience. First off, good for you, let me fill you in on some of the things you may experience so you can enjoy yourself more by being informed.
You should be prepared to be excited and nervous at the same time. I know this sounds confusing but try to relax so you can enjoy what is going to happen, but also you shouldn’t feel bad if you are nervous. That is quite a natural reaction as swinging is a new experience for you and it is natural to be nervous about new and unknown things.
You should be prepared for your male half to possibly have some problems getting it up. Even though it was most likely the male half that brought up the subject of giving swinging a try, and may have even pushed his partner to try it thinking about the standard fantasy of having sex with other women while not cheating on her. But when the fantasy becomes a reality he may have some performance issues wondering if she will like this new guy better than him, or maybe this new woman won’t react to his moves. No matter what it may be remember you guys need to relax as well, and just enjoy yourselves.
Along with his possible performance problems, she (your wife or female partner) may not have an orgasm. Similar problem that the guys have, different surroundings, different moves, not comfortable telling this new partner what you like. Try to turn off your brain and just enjoy the experience. Remember swinging is supposed to be fun, so enjoy yourself.
Remember it will most likely be awkward getting naked in front of someone else, unless of course you have been to a nudist type resort before and are comfortable being naked around others.
Also, you should have a “safe” word or phrase with your partner so if one of you is not comfortable with any part of the situation and needs help getting out of it they can use the safe word. More about this later on.
Why don’t I give you an example of a first swinging experience?
This couple answered our ad, and were really nervous as they have never tried anything like this before. So we talked on the phone with them first (note: always be sure to talk to the female partner before agreeing to meet anyone so you can be sure she does actually exist). We make a date to meet for dinner that Friday. Meeting a couple for the first time can still make experience couples nervous so don’t feel bad if you feel similar especially if it is your first time.
Dinner was good, we found out we were actually quite compatible with this couple so later we made arrangements to have them over the next Saturday for dinner and ???
They showed up right on time, which is important in our books, we had a drink before dinner. Then had a nice steak dinner (but not too much so we weren’t over full). Relaxed in the living room and talked a little about their expectations, fears and any rules they had made (as I have mentioned in other articled, always be sure to talk over your rules with a new couple before you get into an uncomfortable situation).
My hubby suggested we move things out to the hot tub and get to know each other a little more, wink… wink. This is a great way to move from being fully clothed in the living room to the play room, but you need to have a hot tub for this to work.
We had some fun undressing, helping each other out of our clothes, doing little strip teases, etc. Then out in tub we got into some fun and erotic kissing (he really was a good kisser). We needed to be sure they were okay with kissing first as a lot of new couples start out not allowing kissing with the other couple. I think they want to keep one thing to themselves and kissing can be quite intimate. It is funny how this is usually the first “rule” that gets changed though, as kissing is a perfect starting point for more sexual play,
We then moved back inside and into our “play” room. After making sure they were okay with everything that was going on so far and that they were ready to move further, we then continued our kissing session on the bed. Her and I laying right in the middle (to get our girl/girl fix) and the guys on the outside edge. This is when you, as the new couple, need to keep an eye out on your partner to make sure they are doing okay and having fun. Feel free to ask, keeping an ear out for your safe word.
If all goes well, it is preferred to not kiss and run (go home right away), it is much better if you can hang around a little while after otherwise you could experience a cheating feeling the next day because you will remember the sex and then runnibg off.
The next really important thing is to call or email the other couple the next day (or even two days later, but no later to be polite) and thank them for the good time you had (provided you both really did have a good time). This leaves things open to possibly having a repeat experience in the future.
Also, you may want to read some more on things to do and talk about before you try swinging for the first time.