Voyeurism: Is Watching His Wife With Another Man Wrong?
Dear Frank,
My wife wants me to watch her with another man. To my own surprise, I am really turned on by this idea. Why am I turned on by this idea and do you think I should go through with this? I mean, could it ruin things for us?
-Hot To Watch
Dear Hot To Watch,
There is a book I am going to recommend to you to read before this happens. The title of it is ‘Sperm Wars’ and it will explain WHY it would turn you on to watch. Basically, you are re-challenging your bodies natural combative urges (sexual jealousy) and using it to create an orgasm that is more intense than usual for yourself. Once that feeling is anchored to the idea of watching her with another man, it can be quite pleasurable.
If the two of you enjoy it, then it is no ones business, however the KEY to it bringing you closer instead of destroying what you have is to set firm boundaries ahead of time, and sticking to them.
Will she be practicing safe sex? Will you be invited in at some point or just remain watching? Will you look into being with another woman and having her watch, or join in the future? Who will be the man? A friend, co-worker, relative, or a stranger so that the chances of it leading to more does not happen? Who chooses the other man? How is that decision process made? Your place or a motel?
What if she wants him again, but you are out of town and not there to watch…is this OK? See what I mean? Start off with getting the information first, then set your boundaries, and start to explore if that is still what you decide to do. Lastly, what seems good in fantasy does not always transfer well in reality. You cannot really know how you will react when the act happens. You might be turned on, or you could end up feeling abandoned and threatened. Have a contingency plan in place.
~Frank, because I have to be
Writer for SandiOnSwinging.com, you can also visit him at www.franktalks.com where he talks more about having an open relationship including Voyeurism.