Dear Sandi, How do you justify swinging? Isn’t it more like you are cheating? Just Curious.
Great question, but it’s a hard one for most people to comprehend. Ted and I (and many other swingers) believe that sex can be divided into 3 basic categories: fucking, having sex, and making love. Granted most swingers enjoy a combination of all three, but read on and I will explain. When Ted and I are alone and have lots of time, we make love, sometimes when we’re in a hurry, and just need a sexual release we fuck, but we vary rarely just have Sex with each other. Having sex is something we save for our “Special” friends (and you know who you are :-)) and it is generally completely different than both making love (which most swinging relationships can’t handle because of the emotional attachment, which can lead to jealousy) and fucking (which is quick, to the point and generally reserved for one night stands). Having Sex with another couple is a lot like dating, there is lots of foreplay, flirting, and feeling up, oops out the other persons likes and dislikes. Unfortunately, like dating, most swinging relationships for one reason or another don’t get past the first couple of “dates” and that’s a shame. If more people were more comfortable in their own relationships, they could give swinging a real chance. BUT, and there is that but again, once most people get past the having sex stage and into the having sex with your friends stage things seem to get more complicated, jealousy and mistrust can rear its ugly head and one or both of the couples runs as fast as they can in the opposite direction. Too bad, because once a relationship reaches the friends with benefits stage, that’s when the REAL fun starts, trust me, we have been there a few times and it’s incredible! … Sandi and Ted too
PS, sorry, got a little off topic there. Basically cheating is something you do behind your partners back, it generally leads to fun things like ulcers, panic attacks, paranoia, erectile dysfunction, STDs, divorce and alimony payments. On the other hand, swinging is something you do WITH your partner, it generally leads to trust, confidence, multiple orgasms, huge lingerie and toy collections and extended vacations at places like Hedonism II and Desire… Honestly, if more couples would stop cheating ON each other, and started swinging WITH each other, there would be a lot less divorces, and a lot more happy, horny marriages, but that’s only my take on it, your opinion may vary.