Threesome turned into a Triad relationship, and now the other woman wants to keep her all to herself….
Dear Frank,
I am married to a wonderful man. A few years into our marriage, I wanted to explore my bisexuality, and he was very supportive. At first, he let me explore women on my own, and then we started having threesomes with other women.
That was three years ago. Over that time, one woman has become important to us, and I do not know how this happened, but she and her kids have moved in with my husband and I and our kids. We are now what are called a “triad”. This was NOT what I ever wanted. I just wanted to explore sex, but I did not want this. We have all been living together for 8 months now, and things are really starting to strain on me. The three of us share a bedroom, and some of our children are not comfortable with this arrangement. What is worse is that my I do not want to be part of a “group” family, and I never did. My husband wants to maintain the triad saying he loves the other woman too, and will not give her or me up. Our lover keeps up appearances when my husband is around but in private she tells me that we should hang in until all the kids go to college and then she and I could leave my husband and have a private life together. How do I get out of this mess?
Joanne B
Dear Joanne,
WHOA!!!!! Read that AGAIN! She just moved in 8 months ago and is already planning for you to dump your husband and be with her after the kids are grown. Get a reality check now! You all want different, and extreme, lifestyles. I really don’t see how it can work. You want a more private and committed relationship with your husband, while exploring your bisexuality. I think you need to make this intention of yours VERY CLEAR to both of your partners. Tell me, do you think your husband would still be so in love with the other “mom” if he knew she was planning for you both to abandon him in a few years after he provided for her kids as well? Does she think he is that much of a moron? Do you? I suggest that you tell your husband exactly what she is planning, and if you can, tape her saying it to you on some recording device just for evidence sake, in case you end up in a divorce and need proof.
You have children, and they are going to be more screwed up from all of this than you will. Get that woman out of the house, or be ready to take your kids with you as you leave them both. He is oblivious to what is going on, and she is not to be trusted. I think she is using the BOTH of you for her kids, and I doubt she would continue to be with you after the kids leave. My guess is she is telling your husband the same thing, that he should dump you once the kids are gone. I think you are all getting set up. Sorry for the harsh language, but she obviously does not respect, or really care for, him or you. I am not sure if do you either because you know she is not trustworthy, and are not yet doing anything to protect your first family (husband and children).
~Frank, because I have to be
Writer for SandiOnSwinging.com and you can also visit him at www.franktalks.com